What do you do when life hands you things that zap your energy? This is where I found myself today, walking and calling out to God.  As I walked and as I prayed I sensed in my spirit that many are facing this same dilemma.  I want to encourage you that regardless of what area of life you are experiencing lack, know that God is bringing you out.  Put on your war clothes and prepare for battle. The enemy is not giving up without a fight, but greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.  (1 John 4:4)

Knowing how to war in the spirit and how to cast down imaginations is important in the life of a believer. We can take authority over every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and thank God that He has given us the power to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 KJV).

The enemy does not want you to know that you have been set free.  His trick is to keep your mind shackled with guilt and shame.  The Scripture records that we ought to always pray. (Luke 18:1) Praying while I walk has become a part of who I am. This time of reflection is something that I have not only come to enjoy but something that I look forward to.  My prayer this morning was intentional and targeted.  Like many of you I am sick and tired of the enemy’s attempts to overwhelm my mind with things that do not pertain to my kingdom assignment.

The enemy doesn’t want us to read what the Word of God says about who we are. It’s time we take off the blinder and read the sign that says we are FREE. The victory is already ours because of who we serve.  Turn up your worship, turn up your praise, turn up your prayers, and spend more time in the Word.  God is moving and shifting things on your behalf. What the enemy planned to use to destroy you, God will use it to restore you.  Ask God to help you to be free from the strongholds that keep you mentally connected to your past. Make a declaration today that your past will not hinder God’s plan for your future. Even if it was yesterday, it is still in the past. “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36 NIV)

 

Evelyn Johnson-Taylor Ph. D.

 

Scripture Source:  https://www.biblegateway.com/

Heavenly Father

I pray for caregivers everywhere.  Let them know that they are not alone and that you will restore them day by day.  I pray that you will surround them with people who can be there to support, love, and assist with whatever needs they may have.  Help them to realize that even when they make mistakes your loving hand is there to guide and direct.

In those times when the road is rough and the mountain is hard to climb let them know that you are there.  Give the caregivers your peace that passes man understands and help those  who care for loved ones to trust you more. Even in those times of hopeless, may they be reminded that their hope is in you.

I pray that you will help caregivers to show love and compassion as they care for their loved ones.  The task of caregiving is difficult and sometimes seems impossible to accomplish but God thank you for being there. Thank you for your Spirit that abides in all who love and trust you.  Help the caregivers to rest in your loving embrace.

I ask your blessing upon the caregivers and the ones they care for. Thank you for hearing this prayer.

In Jesus’ name Amen.

 

Dr. Evelyn Johnson-Taylor

Caregiver

Today is my birthday and I wanted to take a moment to say how thankful I am to see another birthday.  The older I get the more I value each day, especially a birthday.  The fact that I am still here means that God has kept me and that my work on earth is not complete.  Age brings about a new understanding of how precious life is and the awesome gift of another day.

Now, I could tell you that life is perfect and I have no issues. Although that would sound nice, it would not be true.  Even at my age, which I will not share on this blog, I still struggle with some of the challenges that life presents.  There are things that happen in my life that cause me to feel rejection, pain, heartaches, and disappointments. I still have a desire to achieve things in life.  I yet yearn to go places I have not been.  I even experience regrets for past mistakes and wrong decisions that I have made over the years.

See, that is one of the things that growing older will do, aging will make you take a long hard look at your life. As you look at life, where you are and where you have been, sometimes we do not like what we see.  The wise person who does not like what they see will work to make the necessary changes.  But the foolish person will look, identify, and even verbalize the error of their ways and continue walking in the dark.

So my gift to myself today is to identify things in my life that do not please God, do not line up with my purpose, and do not enhance my growth.  Once I recognize those areas that need work, I will start today moving toward becoming a better me.

As your gift to me, I encourage you to reflect on life and how you can live the life God meant for you to live and begin working toward that goal.  You really are the “apple of His eye.” Be the person you were created to be. Christ died that each of us may be free, let’s walk in that liberty.  Make a bold declaration today that “I am who God says I am and anything that holds me back from fulfilling my destiny has to GO!”

Happy Birthday to me, and let’s give thanks for a new day with new opportunities to improve ourselves. I am thankful for new mercies afforded me today.  I am thankful for a God who forgives and loves me even when I do not deserve it.  I am thankful for my family and my friends.  I am even thankful for those whose actions have initiated a self-evaluation of my motive and as a result caused me to seek God more.  I am thankful for all that God has given me in this life.  And I am thankful that you are reading my blog post.

 

Dr. Evelyn Johnson-Taylor

 

 

Scripture Reference:

http://biblehub.com/psalms/17-8.htm

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations+3%3A22-23&version=NIV

The plight of a caregiver can be lonely. Caregivers will make many adjustments in life in order to care for their loved one. Unless someone has experienced the role of a caregiver it will be difficult for them to understand the challenges that caregivers face.

 

I wanted to write this book simply to say you are not alone in your caregiver’s journey.  I understand what you are experiencing.  You have earned the right to complain every now and then.  The commitment you have made to care for your loved one is monumental.  You will have good days and not so good days but I want to encourage you to stay the course.

 

Tap into the community resources that are available to caregivers.  Accept the support of family and friends.  Whether it is to provide a meal, an offer to sit with your loved one or just a quick visit.  Remember God has placed people in your life that can be there to support you as you take this journey.

 

My mother use to tell me that “God would not put more on you than you can bear.” Once I became caregiver for my husband, I understood what she was saying.  God will place people around you who can assist you in bearing the load.  I am thankful for the good people in my life that are there to assist, encourage and support me during this season of my life.

 

Dr. Evelyn Johnson-Taylor

It has been said that the caregiver must first take care of them self before they can adequately take care of another. I agree with that statement whole heartedly but it is not always an easy thing to do. Caring for a loved one can be all consuming with little time left for anything or anyone else.

Most caregivers go about their daily task not asking for accolades or awards.   They perform their duties out of love and compassion for the person they care for.  In spite of the demands and frustrations that accompany caregiving many still consider it an honor and a blessing to care for the people they love.

My training and experience as a registered nurse had not prepared me for the voyage I was about to embark upon as my husband’s caregiver. While I was medically prepared, I was not prepared emotionally for the impact his illness would have on our family.

I challenge you not to only look at the task the caregivers perform but look at the heart they perform them with.  Caregivers are real people with real emotions many times afraid to express them for fear that others will think they are insensitive.  After all the caregiver is not the one who has the terminal diagnosis.  The caregiver is not the one in pain and living with an incurable disease. For these reasons many caregivers suffer in silence.

In many cases the pain of the caregiver is equal if not greater than the one who is ill.

More next week from my book………….

 

Evelyn Johnson-Taylor Ph.D.

As I sat by my husband’s hospital bed the other night, I was able to put the finishing touches on my manuscript about my journey as a caregiver. I started typing at 11:00 PM and finished at 5:30 AM. I have really enjoyed writing this book, and I hope you will enjoy reading it. Writing has always been somewhat therapeutic for me and writing this manuscript was not disappointing.

I was not sure if the timing was right for me to write this book. Writing while I was still in the midst of care giving did not seem beneficial. However, the longer I thought about it the more I came to believe that now was the time. Quite often when something has ended our brain only recalls the pleasant parts. I wanted this book to be authentic and personable.

Caring for a loved one is a difficult but necessary process. In my book I share some of the challenges that I have faced over the past eight years. It is my desire for the reader to be encouraged and empowered. Caregivers must remember to take care of themselves. In the book I share what has been helpful for me. Many caregivers have gone before me and many will come after yet each one’s journey is unique.

I will keep you posted with updates regarding my book.

God Bless

Dr. Evelyn Johnson-Taylor

We often think that we have the perfect plan for our lives. Perfection meaning being comfortable. We are comfortable with where we are. When we become comfortable the last thing that we want is to have someone rock the boat. We like it where we are and we do not want to move. In fact when prompted to move we become agitated because we have no desire to move. We are comfortable with where things are. Satisfied. We want to do things our way. This typically is the time when God decides that he wants to use us.

We’ll listen to what He has to say, but often we choose another option. The option where we can stay comfortable and not have to change or give everything up. We run. Maybe not physically but we turn our back on what we are supposed to be doing. We become like the prophet Jonah. Jonah was told by God to go to Nineveh and Jonah refused. Like Jonah, running for a bit may seem like a good option. We get it in our heads that we can do it on our own. We get the idea that we don’t need God in our life.

But eventually something happens where we realize that we need him. Sometimes we turn to God right on time and other times it may be too late. Jonah was swallowed by the large fish- a time out.

A time out is a type of punishment that we equate to giving a toddler. When we choose to go our own way, often God will put us in a time out. A place you don’t necessarily want to be but God is placing you in until He decides you are ready to come out. It could be a financial crisis, a sick family member or a missed promotion at work. It is usually at this time where we realize that we should have listened. We realize that we could not have done it on our own even though we thought we could have. We decide that it’s time to get right and God is generous enough to give us a second change.

Once we have been given the second chance, unlike last time, we jump at the opportunity. We, like Jonah, set ourselves on the path that God had originally set for us.  This time we don’t try to run but instead we go wholeheartedly, excited to follow whatever path God has ordained for us to follow.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jonah+1&version=NIV

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Has anyone ever told you to breathe? Probably. I’ve been told to breathe multiple times, and the moment someone says it – the moment someone even utters the word breathe it’s all I can think about. I’m suddenly conscious of my lungs pumping air. Something that was completely natural has suddenly moved into my consciousness. I feel control over whether or not my body is getting the air necessary for survival, and that control causes me to concentrate harder and harder until – oh look, a puppy. Or maybe not a puppy. Maybe what I’m noticing is that it’s 4:00 and I have to head to work.  Maybe a friend just texted me. Regardless of what that thing is, do you know what happens? I keep breathing. There’s some biological explanation about how breathing is an involuntary reaction, but the point is it is not in my conscious control.  Sure, I can choose to hold my breath, but even then one of two things will happen: I’ll give up or I’ll pass out, and then I’ll start breathing again.

When I think about the relationship between being anxious and having peace, I think about breathing and I think about waiting. I’m waiting right now, on graduate school decisions. In my mind my whole future is at risk, and so I check forums more than once a day for updates. I refresh my email constantly. I practice how I’ll respond to rejections and acceptances, and I have dreams of my computer mailbox lighting up to let me know an answer has arrived. Only in my dream my vision goes blurry, and I can’t see if it’s a rejection or an acceptance.  The fact, though, is that my pressing “refresh” doesn’t actually do anything. The decisions aren’t going to come faster because I logged into my email thirty times today. What I do get out of it is the anxiety of a false sense of control. I can make it happen! Even though now that I’ve done my homework and submitted my apps the process is entirely out of my hands.

In a way, being anxious is tied to controlling things that aren’t ours to dictate and peace comes with the knowledge that we can’t. I think that’s why the instruction for not being anxious is to make your requests known with prayer and petition and thanksgiving. It’s a handover.  Person (that’s me!) with prayer and petition and thanksgiving gives the stressor (that’s grad school results) over to God. The only one who is in control anyway. This is my recognition of my utter inability to do anything in the situation now that all my files have been submitted. He takes it on, like he takes on every sorrow, every pain, every stressful situation that we deal with. And because he’s a God of peace that’s what he leaves us – peace that doesn’t seem to fit the situation.

Like breathing. There are things in life that aren’t aided by our micromanaging of them. They were constructed to work on their own, and they continue to work when we aren’t actively watching over them. But God does. He’s actively watching and moving the pieces in place that need to be moved, and he’s opening and closing doors that need to be closed. Let him work and accept his peace.

Contributor Ebony Taylor

Thank you Ebony for your beautiful post on self-control last week.  This is a fruit of the Spirit that we desperately need operating in our lives daily, so I wanted to add my thoughts.

 

In moments of frustration when we are tempted to speak, self-control is needed. When you are facing a stressful situation, take a moment to pray before you open your mouth. Do not allow yourself to be tempted to act on impulse.  Back away from the situation. I like to “sleep on it.” Things always look different after a good night’s rest.

 

Many of us struggle with self-control daily.  We face challenges dealing with lust and pleasing our flesh.  For some it is a matter of overspending.   We become greedy, searching for things that will satisfy our flesh and bring the contentment we crave.

 

It is important that we exercise self-control over every area of our lives.  We must watch what comes into our heart, mind, and body.  We must be careful about what comes out of our mouths. Think before you speak is a good rule of thumb.  Once we put our words in the atmosphere they cannot be recalled.

 

Allow the Holy Spirit to lead and control every area of your life. We do this by focusing on our Lord.  When we sense anger, frustration, stress, discontentment or anxiety we must turn our attention back to God and to His Word. What does the Word of God say about our attitude and how we should react to others?  Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

 

 

Scripture Source:  http://biblehub.com/niv/proverbs/15.htm

 

Dr. Evelyn Johnson-Taylor

Contributor: Ebony Taylor

Today I’m taking over the blog, and there will be a divergence from your normally scheduled programming. Dr. Taylor will be back tomorrow with a post on self-control, and I definitely recommend that you check it out! However, I wanted to take a moment to talk about Dr. Taylor’s new book which deals with the emotions that a caregiver goes through. It isn’t finished yet, so I haven’t had the pleasure to read it, but as someone who was around to witness (firsthand) the experiences of both of my parents — caregiver and patient — I know that it will be an insightful look into what my mother personally dealt with as a caregiver, but it will also be an authoritative approach in how to face the problems that come with caregiving from a biblical worldview. I’m looking forward to it, and you should be too!

As the child of a caregiver, and the child of a sick parent, I believe that I have something to add to the conversation. Particularly I want to use my moment of blog hijacking to address what I’ve learned about the whole process during the past eight years. I don’t have the space to talk about everything, so I will focus on just one: faithfulness. This is a letter to my father.

Dad,

A memory of you: Our front yard in the house in Maryland was an acre? a half-acre? Whatever it was, it was long, and in the winter when we were wrapped in layers of clothes it was exhausting to climb. I remember once when the snow was high and our sleds wouldn’t really slide, I got bored halfway down and didn’t feel like climbing back up to the house. I was seven, I think.

I remember looking up to where you were at the top of the hill. I don’t know what you were thinking, but you started running towards me. Running because I was standing still in the snow and not walking back up. I wasn’t hurt. I wasn’t even that cold. I just didn’t want to walk. But you ran. That’s what I’m most proud of — that my father always ran towards me. Not once have I been afraid that this wouldn’t be my truth. I’ve always known that if I even looked like I might possibly be just barely hurt you would run.

Thinking about us (you and me, father and daughter), I think it’s easy to focus on the imperfections. I think that, “I complained because I had to eat pizza every day for a week since dad was in the hospital. I shouldn’t have done that.” I probably shouldn’t have, but that’s why this post is about faithfulness. The faithfulness of our mutual father who is the God of the Universe.

These eight years have taught me that his faithfulness will always cover our inadequacies. 2 Timothy 2: 13 says, “If we are faithless, he remains faithful – for he cannot deny himself.” For me this is a symbol of his grace. I think that other people (you know, the ones on the outside…the ones who aren’t in the know) believe when you have a sick parent that it’s all crying and gratefulness and that you spend each and every moment basking in each other’s presence. We know the secret though. We know that it isn’t like that. Illness doesn’t conquer human nature. We still disagree, we still get annoyed, and we fail to love properly. But we also know the other secret: that God is faithful. And because he is faithful we don’t have to be perfect. Because he is faithful, he covers our failures in his grace.

When we focus on God’s faithfulness, there isn’t a reason to regret, to feel inadequate, to meditate on our failures because nothing we’ve done is of our own strength anyway. One of my favorite scriptures comes from Jeremiah 31:3, where it says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Focus on His faithfulness and His love, and then thank him that you have the best daughters on the planet.

I’ll close with my favorite scripture which is just barely related:

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39